[Tweet “Even the hardest bro’s out there would not survive this amount of Brostep”]
A thorough five-year Senate investigation of the CIA’s secret interrogations of terrorism suspects left senators and world wide media in shock.
The report by the Senate Intelligence Committee delivers new allegations of cruelty and misconduct in a program whose severe tactics have been abundantly documented, revealing of several painful procedures that were never approved.
One of such methods was sleep deprivation which involved keeping detainees awake for up to 180 hours, usually standing or in stress positions. After examination of the report and checking with staff of the committee, Hammarica learned operatives used a collection of the grimiest Brostep to cause major stress among its prisoners.
Of course a moderate amount of Brostep can be quite pleasurable, but even the hardest bro’s out there wouldn’t be able to endure 180 hours of straight Brostep on a maxed out Function 1 System. Not to mention their hands and feet were shackled. It would take a shipload of molly to numb the senses enough for a state of ‘Brostep spiritual oneness’.
Rumors have it several Brostep stars were then lown into Gitmo where the captives were forced to smile next to our Brostep heroes for fan pictures.